My Cluttered Self

More clutter musings. In a word, since Christmas break I have torn up many pieces of paper to be disposed of, and I have deleted multiple emails, and I have dreamed of all these great recipes I want to try that can use up the random leftovers in the kitchen pantry...but dang, is it ever hard to keep up now that vacation is over and I'm back at work. My Cluttered Self would note that this begs the question: Why invest so much time in picking through old things and organizing them all into "perfect" little categories that in actuality can never be perfect, instead of just living the life by which you accumulated them?

Because I Need. More. SPACE. Yes, I'm the stereotypical spread-out-American type who needs a little room to breathe. And with so many "I will get back to this sometime"'s that build up and become sources of guilt-ridden failure, I am held back from daring to move towards new adventures.

Adventures, e.g.: Actually being able to use my bedroom to make art in without having to create new piles in order to create space. What a concept!

A more detailed example: I am currently cleaning out my iTunes library so I have fewer songs that are perpetually on "skip" status. Being inclined towards the eclectic and the slightly eccentric, naturally I want to have all those cool random songs that no one has ever heard of. (Hipster?) But so many of the freebies that you download from Amazon or iTunes are absolutely terrible (or as one friend would say, "Crappity-crap-crap-crap".) There are gems amidst the rubbish, but not as many as I would hope.

My Cluttered Self would be afraid to delete a mediocre song because it could be that eccentric song that will perfectly fit round out my playlist and fit my mood that one random time when I feel like jamming to that sweet, sweet melody. But my new Anti-Clutter-Self is realizing how that actually prohibits me from listening to a lot of my music that maybe doesn't quite make my fave list, but is still music of value that I want to keep. See, when I'm faced with an overwhelming library of music, much of which I still haven't listened to yet (because they could end up being the crappy freebies instead of the good ones), I tend to overplay the safe songs that I know I like - and they become annoying through constant over-listening. If more of my music is stuff I know that I (even moderately) like, I can relax and let myself listen to a broader selection of the music I already have.

Yes, I know I overthink everything. Such is the burden of being an imperfect perfectionist.