Wasting the Waiting Season

This low-church/evangelically-raised girl still doesn't fully get this whole Advent season. Since much of what I hear from folks who do celebrate Advent is focused on how people should be observing Advent (but aren't), I guess I need to make the effort to dig a little deeper to really learn what the deal is. But I know that one major keyword is "waiting". A darkened world, drowning in sin, oppression, and despair, is waiting for the Light of the World - the Word of God - to become Emmanuel (God with us); and we mortal people need to actively wait and pray for the Messiah to come and bring some desperately-needed illumination to creation.

Emphasis on the "active" part of actively waiting. It's a season of preparation and longing for something that is missing. It's not enough to sit on your @ss rear end and passively wait for something to respond to. The Magi*** spent many months, even years, looking for whatever that frightening, distant star in the ancient sky had to tell them. And traveling back in the day was slightly more wearying than it is today (post-9/11 security precautions notwithstanding), what with the whole smelly camels, no-showers thing and lack of conveniently located Auntie Anne's kiosks or delicious Naked Juice to buy.

The point is that when you desire something, you need to go after it. And too often, I've allowed terror at thoughts of screwing up, being embarrassed for putting myself out there, or encountering uncomfortable situations to shackle me to my chair in a state of paralysis. How do I know which is the "right" path to take? Of all my interests, which one is THE one that is my life's calling? Are my interests and pursuits frivolous? What does the world need of me? What does God want of me? What do I desire for myself?

Instead of using my fear as motivation to search for the answers, I've allowed it to paralyze me; and it's a waste of the waiting season when you are not preparing for something else to come.

Enough, enough. No more waiting without a purpose. NO MORE! That's my Advent epiphany. (Lower-case epiphany, please note. No disrespect meant.)


***Yes, I'm mixing my church-year references by referencing the Magi on an Advent post (rather than on a Christmas/Epiphany post). Don't judge me!